We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
