he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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