they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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