Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
