Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I puked a lego.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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