if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So squirting runs in the family.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
