Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A bitchslap is in order.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
