Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize