addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
