Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
