PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
