ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
