Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well you can't waste a boner
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
