My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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