we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
