we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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