ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
