brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
