I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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