Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
