Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
