How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
