y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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