Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
