I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
