like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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