This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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