How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
