Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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