I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize