i think i have two assholes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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