she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
