One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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