Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
