We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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