i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
