I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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