Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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