Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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