she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
