Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
