HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
