Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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