Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My feet surprised me
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