Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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