i think my tv is drunk
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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