New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
