Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize