I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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