You just made me feel so damn special
Non-Jews are for practice
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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