butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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