it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
