I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
